Since I've received Christ as my savior, I often pray to see things differently, especially how God would want me to see things through his eyes and to get a better understanding/feeling of things.
One huge thing that was going on at the time of me asking, was something that took place on Trav's campus. It completely shook our small the small community. A girl, who was actively involved in our small community, was found dead in her car.
They first stated it was suicide, but things didn't seem to add up. From what people have said, although she was only 21, she was a very Godly woman and someone who would make you feel like you were the most important person in the world - she would touch everyone she met. She was the kind of girl that would do pray sessions with co-workers in the back of where she worked (which is so inspiring to hear!). She sounded like she had her life together and big plans were in her future. She was just about to get married this year too.
They arrested her fiancé for first degree murder and tampering with evidence. He is 21 as well, and was was in his senior year of ministry. When we hear about all the details, it is shocking.
I knew God was working through me because not only did I pray for her family, because my prayers were different and my heart honestly aches anytime I hear about this.
I especially prayed for her family. I can't imagine what they are going through. Losing a child must be the most awful thing in the world.
The constant emptiness that they will face has to be unimaginable. Any small thing that might occur will remind them of her. They will miss every single thing about her - her smile, her voice, a certain expression she would always have, even a certain perfume she would wear.
How much pain, and how much hurt they must have to face. They will probably encounter just about every human emotion through their life time. They probably question God and might even get mad at him. Hopefully their faith won't leave their side through this whole process because when grief happens you either 1.) Run towards God or 2.) Run away from God.
The hurt they will have to go through for the rest of their life has to be unexplainable. Currently, they probably can't even watch the news (as that might show you things about your little girl or tell you that life is still moving on even though you might feel like your whole life has stopped). Any car that drives by them that resembles her car will probably make them to take a second glance to make sure it's not their baby girl. And the constant wonder that will happen daily, "What if she was here, what would she be doing?"
Life for them will never be the same.
And after praying so hard for her family, I then did something I never thought I would do.
I prayed for him. The devil really must have gotten through to him, for him to think of such a plan and to follow through with it.
I especially prayed for his family as well.
I can't imagine what they must be going through: knowing these things about their son. How people will react differently towards them. How many people will stay away from them, how many friends they will probably lose?
Deep down in my heart, I know they didn't raise their son like that and they only wanted the best for him. But they will probably put the blame on themselves, even though they had nothing to do with it.
They probably had a great love for their soon-to-be-daughter-in-law as well. I honestly don't know but they had to be sad for her and probably would want to show love to her family. How could they do that now? Could they send flowers? Show up at her funeral? Comfort the family?
Even though everything that their son did, it doesn't change the fact that he is their child and that they will always love him.
This will effect them for the rest of their lives and they will always have to carry that with them. Their is no escape from that.
They too, will probably question God as well? I would assume that since their son was going to become a minister, that they were probably religious as well? How is their church family going to react? Who do you turn to when you probably feel like all hope is lost?
They probably feel guilty too. Could they have done something different in his raising? (I'm sure this would cross any parents family). Did they deep down know something like this could happen? Was their a cry for help? They probably honestly, never would have even imagined anything like this would ever happen or that their son would be capable of anything like this.. especially to their own family.
Like I said my heart, just aches for all families involved. Such a sad tragic lost, and prayer is needed for both families.
I honestly feel like God is working within me to give me in insight of knowing what true heartache would be like; so I can see things differently. And maybe it isn't so much heartache as it would be empathy.
"Compassion encompasses empathy. Empathy is that aspect of compassion that opens one to a deep understanding of the other's suffering. Compassion also involves an active concern for and effort to alleviate that suffering. That is why compassion is sometimes called "love in action" by Mother Teresa. Compassionate action is a willingness to go beyond self-interest and give of oneself for the good of the other. In this regard it is similar to altruism, letting go of one's own needs to attend to the needs of another so that one can meet one's own deepest need: to feel a part of a larger shared humanity.